I burn the night oil to read novel, urban romantic novel, vulgar taste, which I despise deeply in the past. However, the moment I start, and cannot convince myself to withdraw from it. It's like poppy, and once you start, you seem to go into the prison, or endless circle. 

Sometimes, I wonder, as a flesh people, you should have something you dedicate, no matter graceful or vulgar. Otherwise, the life will be so tedious. But, in other words, it's a way of degenerating, or abandoning one's own destiny. The problem is I'm used to be a traditional girl, but some new ideas come into my mind as I grow up. It seems like a paradox, for one thing, what I have done is what I cannot forgive; for another, I keep doing such things.

Contradict is one of my obvious character. I'm clear aware of what I'm doing, bur I still fail to restrain myself.