(MoneyWatch) "I don't think my colleagues listen. Any time they're silent, I just think they're loading their guns."

(觀察)：“我認(rèn)為我的同事從未聆聽(tīng)過(guò)你在說(shuō)什么，當(dāng)他們保持沉默的時(shí)候，我想他們正在思考如何反擊你。

That is the way one banking executive described listening: The period during which you are figuring out how to take out your colleagues.

一位銀行經(jīng)理是這樣描述的——在”聆聽(tīng)“的這段時(shí)間內(nèi)，你正在思考如何踢掉你的競(jìng)爭(zhēng)對(duì)手。

It's a shocking but, I suspect, not unusual view of listening. And yet listening is at least as important as speaking. Yet while executives endlessly get coaching in presentation skills, very few develop their listening skills. Which could, of course, explain a lot of routine miscommunication at work.

這種看法的確令人震驚，但我懷疑，這應(yīng)該不是對(duì)”聆聽(tīng)“的傳統(tǒng)定義。至少，聽(tīng)和說(shuō)是同樣重要的。但是高管們卻一直在演講技巧上下功夫，很少人會(huì)去提高他們的聆聽(tīng)技巧。理所當(dāng)然，日常工作中許多辭不達(dá)意的現(xiàn)象就能夠解釋了。

• How to apologize道歉的方式
• Stay clear of office politics遠(yuǎn)離辦公室政治
• How to profit from holiday parties如何從假日派對(duì)中獲益

Being a world class listener isn't automatic or easy, so here are some ideas about how to develop your skills.

成為一名世界級(jí)聆聽(tīng)者并非自然而然亦或是一蹴而就的，因此在此羅列了一些助于提升聆聽(tīng)技巧的建議。

1. Promise yourself you won't speak. This is hard for some people who feel that silence makes them invisible. Strangely, I've rarely found this to be true. The less you speak, the more impact you make when you do.

承諾自己保持沉默。對(duì)于那些認(rèn)為自己保持沉默就會(huì)讓別人忽略自己的人來(lái)說(shuō)，做到這一點(diǎn)的確有點(diǎn)勉為其難。但令人不可思議的是，這種看法往往是錯(cuò)誤的。（反之），你說(shuō)的越少，當(dāng)你行動(dòng)的時(shí)候，你所帶來(lái)的影響就越大。

2. Listen for underlying assumptions. What is the speaker taking for granted that might or might not be true? Are those assumptions valid, fair or have they even been checked?

傾聽(tīng)潛在的假設(shè)。什么是演講者理所當(dāng)然地認(rèn)為可能或不可能正確的？那些假設(shè)有根據(jù)，或者清楚嗎？再或者有沒(méi)有通過(guò)驗(yàn)證？

3. Listen to rhythms and pace. If you listen to conversations as though they were music, their aural qualities will tell you a great deal about the underlying emotions. Who is tense and who is confident? Is the anger real?

聆聽(tīng)說(shuō)話的節(jié)奏和速度。如果你想聽(tīng)音樂(lè)一般聽(tīng)別人講話，你會(huì)從話語(yǔ)的聽(tīng)覺(jué)品質(zhì)中獲得（說(shuō)話者）的潛在情感。誰(shuí)（說(shuō)話時(shí)）是緊張的，誰(shuí)當(dāng)時(shí)是自信的，誰(shuí)又是真的生氣了，（一目了然）。

4. Where are the blockages? Many people are poor at articulating their needs. They talk about what they think they need but not why. Try to hear the needs in a conversation, rather than the demands. When you understand needs, you are in a better position to deliver effectively.

關(guān)鍵節(jié)點(diǎn)在哪里？許多人清晰地表達(dá)自己需求的能力很弱。他們?cè)诮徽剷r(shí)往往提出他們認(rèn)為 自己需要什么而不是自己為什么需要。盡量能夠在交談時(shí)聽(tīng)出需求，而并非請(qǐng)求。當(dāng)你能夠理解需求的時(shí)候，你將能夠更加主動(dòng)地在交談中提供有效信息。

Most of the disastrous client relationships I've witnessed occur when both parties start off full of good intentions -- and then don't listen. There is always plenty of talk but very little communication. And there's always a lot of posturing.

我目睹過(guò)許多客戶(hù)關(guān)系走向?yàn)?zāi)難。雙方在合作伊始誠(chéng)意十足，然后就陷入互不聽(tīng)從雙方意見(jiàn)的怪圈。他們雙方會(huì)開(kāi)展許多會(huì)談卻基本上缺乏溝通，很多時(shí)候都是言不由衷。

Is listening easier than talking? I don't think so. But what I have found is that if you listen well, you always end up with something meaningful to say. That's rarely true of the rest of the room.

聽(tīng)真的比說(shuō)更加簡(jiǎn)單么？我并不這樣認(rèn)為。但我發(fā)現(xiàn)，如果你可以做一個(gè)優(yōu)秀的聆聽(tīng)者，你必然能夠說(shuō)出金玉良言。這種規(guī)律在大環(huán)境下是很少適用的。