New Year’s resolutions are hard to keep.
Midnight on New Year’s Eve is the traditional time to make great resolutions: ‘I really mustn’t drink as much as I did last year,’ or ‘This year I am going to start exercising.’ But in the cold hard light of New Year’s day, it is easy to decide that the promises we made to ourselves are just too hard to ke
ep.
When we fail to live up to these goals, we walk away a bit damaged. The experience of not carrying through a personal goal chips away at our self-esteem and makes us feel less successful. But the difference between good intentions and failed intentions comes down to one thing: knowing that self-change is one of the hardest things we will ever do.
If you’re making a resolution, then it pays to do a bit of planning and give yourself a better chance of succeeding. If your resolution is to start running every morning then give yourself a hand: the night before your run, lay out those running clothes beside your bed. It will be easier to get yourself into the routine of getting ready and getting yourself out the door. Strategies like these are called ‘implementation intentions’ and they help you get the good habits started.
It’s also a good idea to get used to new habits at a gentle pace. If you want to stop smoking and you’re a “pack-a-day” person, then don’t go the whole hog and give up entirely overnight. Part of you will still want that cigarette, so wean yourself off them gradually. Start by cutting down and give yourself realistic goals to achieve every week.
One more thing to remember is that everybody slips up sometimes. There will come a day when your resolution slips and you find yourself sliding back into those old bad habits. Don’t take this as an opportunity to give up completely, tell yourself that tomorrow will be better. It always is.
除夕夜的半夜是立下偉大決心的傳統(tǒng)時(shí)刻:“我真的不該像去年那樣喝那么多酒。”或者“今年我可能要開始運(yùn)動(dòng)。”但在元旦清晨的冷光中,很容易就會(huì)判定自己許下的承諾實(shí)在太難維持下去。
當(dāng)我們無(wú)法實(shí)現(xiàn)這些目標(biāo)時(shí),我們就會(huì)有點(diǎn)受傷地離開。沒有將個(gè)人目標(biāo)堅(jiān)持下去,這樣的經(jīng)驗(yàn)漸漸消磨掉我們的自信心,讓我們覺得不太成功。但是好的意圖和不成功的意圖間的差異會(huì)消失在一個(gè)認(rèn)識(shí)里:改變自我是我們所做過(guò)最難的事之一。
如果你正在下決心,那么花一點(diǎn)功夫做個(gè)計(jì)劃,好給自己較大的成功機(jī)會(huì),這種做法是值得的。如果你下的決心是每天早晨開始去慢跑,那就幫自己一個(gè)忙吧:在你去跑步的前一晚,把跑步服裝擺放在你的床邊。這比較容易讓你養(yǎng)成習(xí)慣,做好讓自己出門的準(zhǔn)備。像這樣的策略叫做“執(zhí)行目標(biāo)”,這會(huì)幫助你開始養(yǎng)成好習(xí)慣。
慢慢適應(yīng)新習(xí)慣也是個(gè)好主意。如果你想戒煙,而你是個(gè)“一天抽一包煙”的人,那么不要在一夜之間就徹底戒煙。你還會(huì)有點(diǎn)想要香煙,所以要讓自己逐漸戒掉。從減少數(shù)量開始,每個(gè)星期給你自己實(shí)際的目標(biāo)去完成。
還要記住一件事,每個(gè)人都會(huì)偶爾出差錯(cuò)。某天你可能會(huì)忘記你所立下的決心,你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)自己重拾那些壞習(xí)慣。不要把這個(gè)當(dāng)做完全放棄的機(jī)會(huì),而應(yīng)告訴你自己明天會(huì)更好。明天總是會(huì)更好。