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1. Assumption: Each of us is bringing different information and perceptions to the table; there are likely to be important things that each of us doesn't know. Goal: Explore each other's stories: how we understand the situation and why 2. Assumption: I know what I intended and the impact their actions had on me. I don't and can't know what's in their head. Goal: Share the impact on me, and find out what they were thinking. Also find out what impact I'm having on them 3. Assumption: We have probably both contributed to this mess Goal: Understand the contribution system: how our actions interact to produce this result 4. Assumption: feelings are the heart of the situation. Feelings are usually complex. I may have to dig a bit to understand my feelings. Goal: Address feelings without judgments or attributions. Acknowledge feelings before problem solving. 5. Assumption: There may be a lot at stake psychologically for both of us. Each of us is complex, neither of us perfect. Goal: Understand the identity issues on the line for each of us. Build a more complex self-image to maintain my balance better
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